Burnside is where people go to retire, socialise and appreciate peace and quiet — WRONG!
It’s where over 55 year olds go who are bored, who enjoy a good fight, hate authority, argue like hell, question every rule and regulation, love to interfere in the lives of others and, of course, it is where those who write stories about such people live!
Gabriel bossed others about in a former life and is never satisfied unless he is the centre of attention but he is continually frustrated! Helga is employed by the village operators but must also heed the wishes and interests of the residents and all this while juggling everything to first and foremost fulfil her own ambitions. Alex is the caretaker who does his level best to satisfy everyone. He never succeeds!
This book has women who drive fast cars and fast scooters, men who tell great tales, some who are arch plotters and schemers and many who don’t know what the hell they are doing. They all exist together in the ferment that is Burnside Retirement Village.
Author: Brian Robertson
Riotous Retirement is also available in CD Form (Read by Brian Robertson)
Meet the Authors
Brian Robertson and Ron Smallwood are now both retired, in the sense that neither must work for anyone. They can now do just whatever they like—so long as wives agree that is. Brian and wife Marjorie live in a retirement village and Ron and wife Denise have worked in many retirement villages. Now they do exactly what they want to do.
In Brian’s case this is writing books, Digger’s Story before Riotous Retirement and textbooks for South Pacific schools before that. His next book will probably be about his time spent as a National Serviceman in the Gordon Highlanders
Ron is more recently retired and still works for fun occasionally, with a mate who does house renovations and repairs. He and Denise are also still involved with people in retirement villages. You can contact Ron and Brian below.
If they had titles for their division of labour in this partnership, which they don’t, Ron would be Chief Marketing Officer, and Brian Chief Production Officer.
Contact Details
Ron’s email is
Brian’s email is
Meet the Characters
Gabriel Bovary, now lives in Burnside retirement village but it took his wife some time to persuade him. He hated the idea at first because he needed to show his friends that he lived in a large expensive house. Gabriel loves to be the centre of attention and always in control. He is basically selfish and lazy but can’t see this in himself and expects to be loved by everyone. He thinks he makes all the decisions at home and his wife allows him to think this but it is she who is really in control. He likes eating and pretending to his friends that he can cook—but without his wife Brenda there is really little that he can do! His passion is researching his ancestry—“I can trace my ancestry right back to Bishop Bovary of Angers Cathedral, in France. He lived in the in the 16th Century. That's the 1500s." Did I mention he is also a patronising bastard!
Brenda Bovary, is the quiet hard working wife and partner of Gabriel. She is not the push over she seems at first and beneath that calm accepting exterior there lurks a determined and very capable person. She is the one that has to fix the problems that Gabriel is always getting himself into. We are sometimes privy to what Brenda is really thinking about her husband. This is amusing as well as interesting because Brenda has quite a sense of humour. She is really looking forward to making and keeping other woman friends in the village but Gabriel often puts this goal in jeopardy.
Helga Marchmont, is the manager at Burnside Retirement Village. She likes to think of herself as having a commanding presence and cultivates this by acting as though she were in the army. The way she orders her staff around and how she briefs them tells them how she likes to be approached and obeyed. The staff generally take this in good part particularly Alex the caretaker who understands Helga’s character very well indeed. Helga tries to conduct the affairs of the village, as the village operating company would like it. This means keeping the village “up market” thus procuring the highest prices possible for the villas form those that want to join the community. The motivation for Helga being, first and foremost, her monetary commission of course.
Alex Morton, is the very friendly caretaker at Burnside Village. He does his best for everyone. He is friendly, caring, cooperative, never loses his cool and his aim is to solve all conflict within the village. There is plenty of it! He can’t solve every problem of course and he is always there to pick up the pieces when things go wrong, sometimes literally!
Duncan Stuart, is a shy bushy. He lived his working life in western and northern Queensland, a sober hard worker who has looked after himself and never married. Duncan is now retired and has decided to treat himself. He has a fantastic car and has bought himself a small villa in Burnside village and might even try the dating game, now that he has the time! Duncan is quite deaf but he copes well although he is inclined to talk too loudly.
Susan Kennedy, is a quiet refined lady, who lives on her own a few doors down from Duncan. She has not always been so quiet and underneath the exterior there could be something lurking that most people around the village are totally unaware of.
Bob and Jennifer, Jennifer is the long-suffering wife of a man who loves to tell stories. Bob was an Airline pilot and so has many stories to tell. In some respects Bob is the chief storyteller in the village. He shines at the men’s port and cheese nights.
Bill, is the old guy who loves to talk politics. In his working life he was a businessman of repute. He has a group of friends of similar political persuasion, who meet in the local pub next door to the retirement village and regularly put the world to rights. Bill loves a drink and a conversation and is very well looked after by Alex.
Liz Waverly, is an independent, strong woman with very fixed ideas, particularly when it comes to the attitudes and behaviour of the younger generation. She has clashed with Gabriel Bovary in the past but they gradually repaired their relationship and now think along the same lines. Neither has learned in their long lives to think through the consequences of their actions.